30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself!

"When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you."

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:
Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.
Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done.
Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

from ~ Positive & Inspirational Quotes ~ via Just Lili

Related articles

• 30 Things to Stop Doing to Myself (leggotunglei808.wordpress.com)
• 30 Things You Should Stop Doing To Yourself! (learnedtongue.wordpress.com)
• Transform Relations (myhugs.blogspot.com)

A New Year and more of prosperity and peace

Image via Wikipedia

Each New Year, we wish others happiness and prosperity. What really is the sign of prosperity? There are several - a smile, contentment, freedom, the willingness to share, fearlessness and the trust and confidence that you will get what you need in life.

Welcome the New Year with a genuine smile. As you flip the calendar, keep flipping your mind as well. Don’t fill your future dates with past events. Learn and unlearn from the past, and move on.

You want to be free of greed, hatred, jealousy and all such imperfections. Understand that negative emotions are due to the past. Do not let the past affect your life in the present. If you cannot forgive the past, then your future will be miserable. This New Year make up with someone with whom you are not on good terms. Start life afresh.

In the New Year, wish peace and prosperity for all. Do selfless service. Live your life well. Realise that your priority is to check violence in the world, free of domestic and societal violence. Make a resolution to do more good, help people in need and bring solace to those suffering.

Whenever you are useful to people, merit will never be lost. Any good gesture or action of yours will always come back to you. Today you have the whole world for a family. That’s what you need to feel, that everybody is part of your own family. Take responsibility. Then there is no suffering.

The spiritual dimension of life brings a great sense of belongingness, responsibility, compassion and caring for the whole world, for all life. In its truest form spirituality helps us overcome narrow boundaries of caste, creed, religion and nationality and give you a broader awareness of life everywhere.

• Open your eyes and see how much you have been given. 
• Focus on what you have rather than what you don’t have. 
• The more grateful you are, the more will be given to you. 

Conversely, the more you complain, the more will be taken away from you. This is what Jesus Christ meant when he said, “Those who have will be given more; those who don’t give, and even what they have will be taken away from them.”
With gratitude, reach out and help those who are less endowed. You will get much contentment when you serve selflessly. Then you realise that your problems aren’t so big after all. The biggest reason for mental depression is the constant refrain of the mind that says, “What about me?” This is a sign of lack of prosperity.

Become free like a bird. Open your wings and learn to fly. This is something you have to experience within yourself. If you think you are in bondage, you will remain bound here. Be free. When will you experience freedom? After you die? Become free right now. Sit down and become contented. Spend some time in meditation and satsang. This not only calms your mind, your inner self becomes strong enough to deal with challenges.

When the mind relaxes, the intellect becomes sharp. When the mind is loaded with ambitions and feverish desires, then the intellect loses its keenness. When intellect and observation are not sharp, life does not express itself fully. Ideas don’t flow properly and abilities diminish day by day. With this understanding, you step out of your narrow confines and that will solve many of the problems in your life. When you are centred, there is happiness always. With this calmness, talents arise naturally. Intuition comes, beauty comes, peace comes; Love springs up. Prosperity comes.

by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar                                                                                                               source here

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• the Precious Gift

Divorce! A Wonderful Story

Monica married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party, Monica's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook.

With Rs.1000 deposit amount.

Mother: 'Monica, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line.

The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh.When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'

Monica shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.

This was what they did after certain time:

- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh
after marriage
                     
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Monica

- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali

- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Monica got pregnant

- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted

..... and so on..

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things.They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nasty people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?

One day Monica talked to her Mother:

'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how
I decided to marry this guy!!!'

Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'

Monica thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account.

While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears.

She left and went home.

When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.

The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Monica. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record:
'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How
much happiness you've brought me.'

They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.

Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask.I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.
                     
"When you fall, in any way,

Don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the
place from where you slipped.
                        
Life is about correcting mistakes."

Deep Peace

Image by Leonard John Matthews via Flickr

Deep peace I breathe into you,
O weariness, here:
O ache, here!
Deep peace, a soft white dove to You;
Deep peace, a quiet rain to you;
Deep peace, an ebbing wave to you!
Deep peace, red wind of the east from you;
Deep peace, grey wind of the west to You;
Deep peace, dark wind of the north from you;
Deep peace, blue wind of the south to you!
Deep peace, pure red of the flame to you;
Deep peace, pure white of the moon to you;
Deep peace, pure green of the grass to you;
Deep peace, pure brown of the earth to you;
Deep peace, pure grey of the dew to you,
Deep peace, pure blue of the sky to you!
Deep peace of the running wave to you,
Deep peace of the flowing air to you,
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you,
Deep peace of the sleeping stones to you!
Deep peace of the Yellow Shepherd to you,
Deep peace of the Wandering Shepherdess to you,
Deep peace of the Flock of Stars to you,
Deep peace from the Son of Peace to you,
Deep peace from the heart of Mary to you,
And from Briget of the Mantle
Deep peace, deep peace!
And with the kindness too of the Haughty Father
Peace!
In the name of the Three who are One,
Peace!
And by the will of the King of the Elements,
Peace! Peace!

From "the Dominion of Dreams Under a Dark Star by Fiona Macleod (1895)

Source Here

How to make a Woman happy?

It's not difficult.
Here's a check list, compiled after talking to a select group, for a man needs to be a:

1. Friend
2. Companion
3. Lover
4. Chef
5. Electrician
6. Carpenter
7. Plumber
8. Mechanic
9. Decorator
10. Stylist
11. Driver
12. Gynecologist
13. Psycologist
14. Pest exterminator
15. Psychiatrist
16. Healer
17. Avid listener
18. an Organizer
19. Good father
20. Sympathetic
21. Athletic
22. Warm
23. Attentive
24. Intelligent
25. Funny
26. Creative
27. Tender
28. Strong
29. Understanding
30. Tolerant
31. Prudent
32. Ambitious
33. Capable
34. Courageous
35. Determined
36. True
37. Dependable
38. Passionate
39. Compassionate
40. Give her compliments
41. Love Shopping
42. Honest
43. Very rich
44. Not to look at other Gals
45. Any more, just put in yours too...
    

Be Cheerful & Positive ~ Optimistic Paradigms

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Life is full of ups & downs. Some moments are there that bring sunshine, others battle the rain. But whatever life's moments have in store for us, we can redefine them according to our own paradigms that teach us to be optimistic in every situations. Because we know for sure, nothing is more powerful than our will, our hope, our positive attitude. Because we know the sun will come back; things will always get better.

Be cheerful at all times. At first you don't have to believe it-just do it. Act it. Pretend, but do it. After a little while you will find it is not an act, you are not pretending, you genuinely do feel cheerful.

Putting on a smile triggers hormones. These hormones will make you feel better. Once you feel better you will smile more and thus produce more hormones.

All it takes is the first few days smiling when you don't feel like it and you will start cycle going that will make you feel better all the time.

And it is known fact that everyone likes a cheerful person who is relaxed, confident, mature and dictates the positive vibes. People will want to hang out with that person more - there is nothing so attractive as a cheerful person.

HAVE A PLAN ~ Systematic Endeavor

Most of us don't practice concrete planning methodologies for our works, and that is why we fail. To write success in our life or business, we must follow a definite course of actions - long terms or short terms.

Long term plans can be easy to narrate, they are sensible and workable. For example, if we intend having a career, it is wise to work out a long term game plan for our respective industry or profession. And only then it is possible for us to foresee the progression, needed to make it to the position we aspire to hold. Work out what it takes to make those objectives. Work out what we seek in each step-gaining experience, handling responsibility, learning new skills, acquiring people management, understanding that sort of things. Work out how we can materialize each step, it doesn't take much to work out what we need to acquire that how. Finally, we have to have an end game - the final goal. But it should be realistic and in tune with our capabilities, no more no less.

On the other hand, Short term plan vary according to our time span and urgency. For example we have short term plans of this month, this year, five years etc. Our one month short term plan includes our current work projects, our one year plan schedules, projects which are being formulated, our five years plan lists, our dreams, ideas, wishes goals etc.

All these plans should be devised in the light of our own practical cognition, so that we can proceed to put this into action and make them happen.

Forgiveness ~ Logic of letting go

Image via WikipediaWhen we are children, and someone tells us to ‘let go,’ it is usually in reference to something material, and when we let go, we can either feel empty, as if we are being deprived of something, or we can feel full, knowing that we have allowed someone to have that something, and s/he must really need it.

As adults, letting go can still leave us feeling empty or full. Both feelings may occur simultaneously. Ultimately , letting go will allow us to feel free, unburdened, healed, happy, even joyous . I intend to address how we can reach these ultimate feelings.

The concept of letting go is very complex. For the sake of this discussion, i will divide the various aspects of letting go into three categories:
1) physical,
2) psychological, and
3) spiritual.

When i discuss the physical realm, i am talking about anything tangible, whether it is our bodies or our environment. Our environment can often be cluttered, so purging of much of this stuff can be truly liberating.

Our bodies may not please us, so we can choose to let go of extra weight. We can choose to let go of bad habits and addictions. We can choose to free ourselves of the indiscriminate materialism and consumerism that requires constantly acquiring more and more of anything.

Moving from the physical to the psychological, we move to the why of those items that we could let go of physically. For example, why do we have all of the stuff that needs to be purged? What has caused the rampant materialism that has allowed us to fill up our lives with objects and beings? I almost wrote ‘inanimate,’ but there are those who fill up their lives with pets and children and casual acquaintances rather than real relationships.

All such acquisitional behavior is symptomatic of a psychological need that longs to be filled, but which should be purged. The same is true of other unpleasant emotions, like anger, fear, jealousy /envy, even hate; when a psychological need exists, it causes these emotions to manifest in an attempt to satisfy that need. Guess what?

The very same is true for any bad habits and addictions we want to let go of; while there may be a biochemical component to these, they also are indicative of some sort of need or self-perceived deficiency or pain that, in turn, is symptomatic of needing to spiritually let go.

Truthfully, one could argue that if one lets go and purges at the physical and psychological levels, spiritual level purges and progress will automatically follow. Instead of dealing with those two arguments, i am going to run to one common expression: Let Go; Let God.

When we consider the spiritual level, by definition we are dealing with the Divine by whatever name we wish to call Him. Also, by definition, we are exiting the scientific arena that forms the foundation of most of my work, and moving into the realm of faith, which happens to form the foundation for the remainder of my work.

Most spiritual advisors argue that happiness and joy are the natural state of our souls. Therefore, if these are not what we feel, what must be purged from the spiritual realm?

Because every single major faith has reincarnation as one of its major tenets, and the purpose of reincarnation is for the spirit to achieve a higher state. Ridding ourselves of karma is the ultimate purge!

Now that we have seen the different levels of letting go and purging, how do we begin the process? Try beginning with just one small step in one aspect of your everyday life. Identify something that you don't need, and let go of it. Perhaps it will be your décor?

Even though i embrace much of Mies van der Rohe’s ‘Less is More’ philosophy, one does not have let go of an overall personal style that you might enjoy more in order to simplify and streamline your life. However, it may help to examine “Why” you have a particular décor, and whether it might merit letting go in order to have a more life enhancing physical environment. Mostly, this is about just getting rid of accumulated material items that aren’t needed any more.
Think about the motivations you have for selecting a career, a hobby, a car, a house, even a spouse. Are those motivations from your own internal dreams and drive, or are there some external pressures? This is moving beyond the realm of everyday activity , and into the realm of special activity ; these special events are most often psychological in nature.

Remember, though, that there are many ways to get an education, so temper all external pressures with your internal dream. Loosen the influence of external pressures, learn what your choices are, listen to your own internal dream, and then let go of what isn’t part of that internal dream.

Now that you have identified your internal dream, what is holding you back from achieving your greatness? Money? Fear? Inhibitions? Overwhelming anger? Frustration? Laziness? Whatever it is, you must start to let go of what is holding you back.

For instance, i have a beautiful relative who is very intelligent and artistically talented; she once told me that her dream was to write children’s books. When i asked her why she didn’t ‘just do it,’ she said she was afraid of failing. I urged her to let go of her fear of failure, but that fear had its hooks in too deep.

Once you start letting go of what you don’t need, and loving all, you will have fewer blocks in your spiritual Path! As you begin to ‘Let go,’ you automatically begin ‘Letting In.’ Both are processes, so please don’t expect overnight success. Start small, and change will occur incrementally.

Let go of the need for perfection and the physical, psychological and spiritual baggage that embodies . Let in the goal of self-improvement throughout your life. Let in Love. We are all works in progress. Make a pact with yourself to show just a little more love every day. Let in the Divine.

source TOI http://tinyurl.com/4ae4er