The Triple-Filter

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to most knowledgeable person. One day a friend met him and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"Well, no," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and…"

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now, let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend is something good?"

"Umm, no, on the contrary…"

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about my friend, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left—the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really"

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true, nor good, nor even useful,  why tell it to me at all?"

A letter from a father to his little son

Dear Pranav,

It's been 20 months since you set foot in the world. When I held you for the first time in my arms at the hospital, your tiny hands

A letter from a father to his little son. (Getty Images)

were twitching and your eyes were shut tight.

Your clenched fist reminded me of a science lesson that said to get an idea about the size of your heart, you should clench your fist. I could imagine the little heart throbbing inside you. The eternal miracle of birth. When it was my turn to witness it, I cried.

Before I married your mother, I used to debate one question endlessly with my friend. Which is, "Is it really worth bringing another life into this world?" Especially when terror has become an ugly leitmotif in the canvas of our lives?

When I switched on the TV that Wednesday night, the question of whether I was right in bringing you into this world haunted me again.

This is my attempt at an answer. Call it catharsis.

I feel there are two ways to raise you. One is to wean you on cynicism. Where you'll erect a sky-high wall in your mind and live your life pouring scorn on everything you see. Which is one way of insulating yourself from fear... A kind of indifferent machismo.

The other way is to prepare you to live in this world. I can't imagine the world for you, son. But i can certainly show you the way to live in an uncertain world. Make a pact with yourself. Understand the following early on.

Life is precious. And equally fragile. So every day is a gift. Get up early once in a while just to watch the sun rise. Stare at it intently and burn it in your memory. Be aware of every passing second. Look around you. There's a thin stalk of plant finding its place under the sun in a crevice on the wall of our apartment.

Appreciate mother's cooking. Praise it to heavens... Make it a habit to eat together as a family. No, make it a rule. Fall in love with books. Words will transport you to worlds far away. It will also keep you informed and prepared.

Follow your heart. The mind can waver but the heart seldom does. Respect your conscience. It's like a post-it note from God.

When you grow up, seek a job you love. As you enter the world of careers and cocktails, you'll get sucked into a vortex called rat race. Don't be overwhelmed. We're all human. But have the courage to step out of it. Nothing will be lost. Some illusions will shatter. Good riddance.

Money. It's important. But it has its place. Don't make the mistake of putting it right on top.

Find your love. Hold it dearly. Be a good husband. A patient father. Give your children space to make their mistakes. But hold them when they fall.

Speak up when you have to. Like this occasion. Whether we like it or not, we're living in a democracy. Sure it has its pitfalls. But don't forget the positives too. The real fight in a democracy is between remembering and forgetting. Go and vote. It's your chance to give shape to the kind of society you want to live in.

Be alert. But try not to live in a state of fear.

It you were to get caught in a situation similar to what happened and should we lose you, then you will have left us with enough lovely memories for the remaining years. That will only happen if you start living every day like it is the last day of your life. Though it can never compensate your loss, at least we'll find strength in your love for life.

Don't have regrets. They defeat the very purpose of life.

Immersed as I am in work most of the time, this letter is also a wake-up call for me.

Love, Dad

By Rajesh Mani

Read this article in Ahmedabad edition of TOI of Jan 20, 2009 & it touched my soul. So, am sharing it with you. Please do share your comments.


courtsey TOI http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Lifestyle/Spirituality/Speaking_Tree/A_letter_from_a_father_to_his_little_son/articleshow/4002613.cms

Sharpen the Saw ~ Balanced Self Renewal

According to philosopher Herb Shepherd our healthy balanced life resolves around for values i.e. perspective (spiritual), autonomy (mental), connectedness (social) and tone (physical). Sound motivation and organization theory embrace these four dimensions or motivations-the economic (physical), how people are treated (social), how people are developed and used (mental), and the service, the job, the contribution, the organization gives (spiritual).

"Sharpen the saw" basically means expressing all four motivations. Exercising all these four dimensions of our nature regularly and consistently in wise and balanced ways. To do this we must be proactive. Most importantly, as it lies at the corner of circle of influence, no one else can do it for us. We must do it for ourselves.

The physical dimension involves caring effectively for our physical body. The spiritual dimension provides leadership qualities to our formal education and grooming patterns. The social / emotional dimension centered on the principles of interpersonal leadership, empathetic communication and creative cooperation.

All these dimension enhance our greatest asset we have-ourselves. The habit talk about taking time to sharpen to all these attributes for an enlightening living, joyous in every aspect.

Seek First to UNDERSTAND, then to be UNDERSTOOD ~ E Communication

Communication is one of the most important skill in life. We spend most of our waking hours communicating. If we want to interact effectively with others, to influence others, we first need to understand them. 'Seek first to understand' involves a very deep shift in paradigm. We often seek first to be understood. Most of us do not listen with the intent to understand, we listen with the intent to reply.
When another person speaks, we are usually 'listening' at one of four levels. We may be ignoring another person, not really listening at all. We may practice pretending. We may practice selective listening. Or we may practice alternative listening. But very few of us practice the highest form of listening, 'empathic listening'. By empathic listening, mean listening with intent to understand. According to communication experts in empathic listening, we listen with our eyes and with our heart. We listen for feeling, for meaning.

This habit is powerful because it exists right in the middle of our circle of influence. Many factors in independent situations are in our Circle of concern-problems, disagreements, circumstances, other people's behavior. And if we focus our energies out there, we deplete them with little positive results.

We can always seek first to understand. That's something within our control. And as we do that, as we can focus on our circle of influence, we really, deeply understand other people. We get to the heart, of matters. We talk with each other quickly. We give people the psychological air, they need so we can work together effectively.

• Educators take something simple and make it complicated. Communicators take something complicated and make it simple. ~ John C Maxwell

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