How long do you worry about your kids???

Is there an imaginary cutoff period when
offspring become accountable
for their own actions?

Is there some wonderful moment when
parents can become
detached spectators in
the lives of their children and shrug,
'It's Their life,' and feel nothing?


When I was in my twenties,
I stood in a hospital corridor
waiting for doctors to put a few stitches
in my daughter's head and I asked,
'When do you stop worrying?'
The nurse said,
'When they get out of the accident stage..'
My Parents just smiled faintly
and said nothing.


When I was in my thirties,
I sat on a little chair in a classroom
and heard how one of my children
talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
and was headed for a career making license plates.
As if to read my mind, a teacher said,
'Don't worry, they all go through this stage
and then you can sit back,
relax and enjoy them.'
My Parents just smiled
faintly
and said nothing.


When I was in my forties,
I spent a lifetime waiting
for the phone to ring,
the cars to come home,
the front door to open.
A friend said,
'They're trying to find themselves.
'Don't worry!
In a few years, they'll be adults.
'They'll be off on their own
they'll be out of
your hair'
My Parents just smiled faintly
And said nothing.



By the time I was 50,
I was sick & tired of being vulnerable.
I was still worrying over my children,
but there was a new wrinkle..
Even though they were on their own
I continued to anguish over their failures,
be tormented by their frustrations and
absorbed in their disappointments..
and there was nothing I could do about it.
My Parents just smiled faintly
and said nothing.



My friends said that
when my kids got married
I could stop worrying
and lead my own life.
I wanted to believe that,
but I was haunted by my parent's warm smiles
and their occasional,
'You look pale. Are you all right' ?
'Call me the minute you get home'.
Are you depressed about something?'


My friends said that
when I became a grandparent
that I would get to enjoy
the happy little voices yelling
Grandma! Papa!
But now I find that I worry
just as much about the little kids
as the big ones.
How can anyone cope
with all this
Worry?



Can it be that parents are sentenced
to a lifetime of worry?
Is concern for one another
handed down like a torch
to blaze the trail of human frailties
and the fears of the unknown?
Is concern a curse or is it
a virtue that elevates us
to the highest form of earthly creation?


Recently, one of my own children
became quite irritable,
saying to me,
'Where were you?
I've been calling for 3 days,
and no one answered
I was worried.'
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.

Namaste

Namaste, Namaskar or Namaskaram (Sanskrit: नमस्ते [nʌmʌsˈteː] from external sandhi between namaḥ and te) is a common spoken greeting or salutation in the Indian subcontinent. It is derived from Hinduism and Buddhism, and in India it has multi-religious or else common usage where it may simply mean "I bow to you." In religious formulation, it can be translated as:

• "I bow to that inherent in you" ("that" here refers to divinity, or that which is divine')
• "I respect that divinity within you that is also within me."
• "the light within me honors the light within you" (in yoga)

The word is derived from Sanskrit (namas): to bow, obeisance, reverential salutation, and (te): "to you".^[1] Namaskar is considered a slightly more formal version than namaste but both express deep respect. It is commonly used in India and Nepal by Hindus, Jains and Buddhists, and many continue to use this outside the Indian subcontinent.
When spoken to another person, it is commonly accompanied by a slight bow made with hands pressed together, palms touching and fingers pointed upwards, in front of the chest. The gesture can also be performed wordlessly and carry the same meaning. In Indian and Nepali culture, the word is spoken at the beginning of written or verbal communication. However, upon departure only the wordless hands-folded gesture is made.

Meanings and interpretation

Namaste is one of the few Sanskrit words commonly recognized by Non-Hindi speakers. In the West, it is often used to indicate South Asian culture in general^{[citation needed]}. Namaste is particularly associated with aspects of South Asian culture such as vegetarianism, yoga, ayurvedic healing, and Hinduism.
In recent times, and more globally, the term "namaste" has come to be especially associated with yoga and spiritual meditation all over the world. In this context, it has been viewed in terms of a multitude of very complicated and poetic meanings which tie in with the spiritual origins of the word. Some examples:

• "I honor the Spirit in you which is also in me." -- attributed to author Deepak Chopra^[3]
• "I honor the place in you in which the entire Universe dwells, I honor the place in you which is of Love, of Integrity, of Wisdom and of Peace. When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, we are One."^[4][5]
• "I salute the God within you."
• "Your spirit and my spirit are ONE." -- attributed to Lilias Folan's shared teachings from her journeys to India.^{[citation needed]}
• "That which is of the Divine in me greets that which is of the Divine in you."^[6]
• "The Divinity within me perceives and adores the Divinity within you."^[7]
• "All that is best and highest in me greets/salutes all that is best and highest in you."
• "I greet the God within."

 

Dream Inspires

Image by Heliøs via Flickr

Dreams are a series of images, sounds and feelings occurring in the mind during sleep, accompanied with rapid eye movement. Dreams typically last in the range of 5 to 45 minutes. The contents and biological purposes of dreams are not fully understood, though they have been a topic of speculation and interest throughout recorded history. The scientific study of dreams is known as oneirology.

Dreams are Priceless:

"My company is in the business of selling dreams. You can't put a price tag on a dream."~ Robert Polet, Chairman, Gucci

Dreams Possibility:

"The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking." ~ Robert H. Schuller

 "There is nothing like a dream to create the future" ~Victor Hugo

Dreams For:

"Dream with a purpose; for dreams, like thoughts are creative. Dream of oneness, love, peace and harmony." - Harry Shade

"Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men." ~ Goethe

Dreams Limit:

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” ~ C.S. Lewis

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” ~ Buddha

Dream Achievements:

 “A goal is a dream with a deadline.” ~ Napoleon Hill

"Funny how planting trees and taking action on the life of your dreams are the same that way." ~ The Universe

"If you can dream it, you can do it." ~ Walt Disney

"Don't Let Anyone Ever Steal Your dreams." ~ Stevie Wonder

"I don't design clothes, I design dreams." ~ Ralph Lauren

“The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.” ~ J.M. Power

"When you are in Love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams." ~ Dr Seuss

Trust Dreams:

 "If you can trust your dreams half as much as u doubt them, you would get everything you want." ~ Mama Gena

“My eyes are an ocean in which my dreams are reflected.” ~ Anna M. Uhlich

"Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity" ~ Kahlil Gibran

 "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams" ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."~ Walt Disney

"Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions."~ Edgar Cayce

"Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams?"~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

Lonely Dreamers:

"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely." ~  Erma Bombeck

Dreams Reality:

“Love is an attempt to change a piece of a dream-world into reality.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

Like this post please let me know with your comments.

Thank you and Sorry!

Image by bp6316 via Flickr

Thank you and sorry are perhaps the first words we learn. And they stay with us right through our lives as yardsticks of our civility.

But when was the last time we said “thank you” or “sorry” without meaning to simply offload our burden of obligation or guilt? Indeed, these words no longer express what they are supposed to. Instead, they are used flippantly, thrown around without care, often reduced to an easy way of getting off the hook and evading meaningful action.

They may well be the most used words in times of political correctness. But they are clearly the most abused as well. The emotions of gratitude and apology are vital to the chain of human reciprocity. But in stripping them of sincerity, we also seem to be closing the doors on their benefits for us.

In almost all religious traditions, gratitude is a manifestation of virtuous character. “Gratitude, as it were, is the moral memory of mankind,” wrote sociologist Georg Simmel. Scottish philosopher Thomas Brown defined gratitude as “that delightful emotion of love to him who has conferred kindness on us, the very feeling of which is itself no small part of the benefit conferred”. German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote: “In ordinary life, we hardly realise that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.”

The quality of being thankful implies the disposition to turn goodwill into action and the inclination to return kindness. A “thank you” denotes the attitude of positive acceptance, a determination to employ the kindness or blessing imaginatively and inventively. It connotes the humility of considering oneself the recipient of undeserved merit. “He who receives a benefit with gratitude repays the first instalment on his debt,” observed Roman statesman Lucius Annaeus Seneca.

Gratitude comes endowed with the power to help us create the life we want and can be therapeutic. Gratefulness emanates from looking at what someone or something has done for us. It is, therefore, about positivity of outlook, which, in turn, generates optimism and energy. Conversely, the lack of gratefulness breeds negativity and despair. In fact, proponents of positive psychology, a recent branch of psychology that studies the strengths and virtues enabling individuals and communities to thrive, consider gratitude to be a pleasant emotional state like happiness, joy, love, curiosity and hope.

The lack of gratefulness is largely because we take things for granted, brashly presuming that they are either our rightful due or are far less than what we deserve. What holds us back from being grateful is such lack of contentment and an endless craving for more. Often, we insist on waiting for the results of an action or a blessing to show up before expressing gratitude. This indicates a dearth of trust and faith, which pays us back in our own coin.

In a way, gratitude helps us realise the benefits of mindful meditation, which is all about acknowledging and feeling connected with every breath and blessing of life. Invariably, a life with gratefulness as its pivot is also a solution to the ills spawned by insatiable human yearnings.

We might wonder where the need for gratitude is if we pay for goods and services in money. Gratitude doesn’t even fetch us discounts. In fact, there is a subtle line of distinction between gratitude and ingratiation. So much so that when someone thanks us too many times, we start doubting his intention. However, as philosopher Adam Smith averred, gratitude is a vital civic virtue, essential for the healthy functioning of societies. He called gratitude a part of the moral capital required for human societies to flourish.

The act of offering and accepting an apology is as profound and healing a human interaction as that of expressing gratitude. But while the offhand “sorry about that” keeps flying around, our ego prevents us from realising its full potential. The word loses its impact when we refrain from acknowledging our offence (“Sorry for whatever I may have done”) or throw in a self-serving conditionality (“I am sorry if you were hurt”). If the purpose of an apology is only to say, “While I don’t think I was wrong, I will apologise because you say so”, it is best not to offer one, for, the worst we can do is to insult someone’s sensitivity or intelligence by such treatment.

Bestowed with the power to effect reconciliation and mend strained relationships, an apology must involve acknowledging the offense adequately, expressing genuine remorse and offering appropriate reparations, including a commitment to make changes. “A stiff apology is a second insult,” said novelist and poet G K Chesterton. “The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.”

The rewards of an apology can only be earned, not embezzled. With everybody from convicts to public figures seeking its refuge, “sorry” is not a quickfix for things gone awry, but the starting point of restoring order. The use of this word must be backed by sincerity of intention. “Never ruin an apology with an excuse,” advises American poet Kimberly Johnson. Seldom does an apology sensitise us to the responsibility of not repeating the same mistake.

A sincere apology helps both parties achieve greater harmony: While the individual making an apology is disencumbered of guilt, shame and fear of retaliation, the one who accepts an apology heals his own humiliations and grudges, rids his mind of the painful preoccupations of revenge and generates forgiveness to bring about greater peace in his own life and in the lives of others around him.

Expressing gratitude and apology without necessarily being grateful or remorseful people is an exercise in futility. Shallow expressions of gratitude and apology are not emotionally evocative and end up producing the contrary result. Often, they are so disengaged and superficial that they fail to motivate altruistic action and positivity. What matter most here is honesty, generosity, humility, commitment, courage and sacrifice, for these qualities define our true dignity.

by Harsh Kabra here

SYNERGIZE ~ Creative Cooperation

Synergy means the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It catalyzes, unifies and unleashes the greatest powers within people. All the habits or principles we are discussing prepare us to create the miracle of synergy.

Synergy stems from the creative process we pursue and it is also the most terrifying part because we don't know exactly what's going to lead. We don't know what new challenges we will find. It takes an enormous amount of internal security to begin with the spirit of adventure, the spirit of adventure, the spirit of discovery, the spirit of creativity.

The challenge to follow this principle is to apply the principles of creative cooperation, which we often learn from nature, in our social interactions. Our family life is an excellent platform to observe and practice this mode of endeavor. The very way a man & woman bring a child into the world is synergistic.

As in life synergy is of much importance in the work-dom of business. When we incorporate this approach is our business the outcome is sheer excellence. It helps us to release an incredible creative enthusiasm.

And once we have experienced real synergy, we are never quite the same again; we know the possibility of having other such mind-expanding adventure in the future. We simply open our mind to new happenings.

Never LIE ~ Truthfulness

Image by Michelle Brea via FlickrTell what you believe, what you are aware of. Tell what you know, no more, no less. It sets you into a more when you don't have to think twice. Never lie. Under no circumstances do you lie. Once you have got a reputation as someone who never lies you won't ever be asked to cover up, or cover for anyone else.

If you decide to lie for a living you have too many choices and decisions. Where do you draw the line? Do you only tell little lies? Great big ones? Do you lie to save yourself? others? How developed your lies be?

Can you see some problems? If you have simple rule-never lie- you have a default setting that requires no thoughts, no choices, no decisions, no alternatives, no picking, no jeopardy and not sleeping nights.

Never lie is really the simplest, cleanest, most honest approach to our working life and career. It stems from our habit of truthfulness. When we know we are allowed to talk according to our own knowledge and comprehension. When we know we are allowed to take actions according to own experience. And what better way to live a dignified life that advocates peace and semblance.

Always go by your principle of truthfulness. Always invite straight and simple way of living. Experience life in the light of truth.

Think Win Win

We often talk about win-win situation or practices. But what it actual denotes to us? In broader perspective, it is a total philosophy of human interaction. It narrates about a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefits in all human interactions. With a win-win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan. Win-win sees life as a co-operative, not a competitive area.

One alternative to win-win is win-lose, the authoritarian approach. Most of us are deeply influenced by this win-lose scripting.

Some of us programmed the other way lose-win. Lose-win is worse than win-lose because it has no standards, no demands, no expectations, no vision. People who think lose-win are usually work to please or applause.

Then there is another version of that provokes a condition of lose-lose. When two win-lose people get together-that is when two ego-invested individuals interact-the result will be lose-lose. Both will lose.

Another common alternative is simply to think win. People with win-win mentality don't necessarily want someone else to lose. So, when there is no sense of competition, win is probably the most common approach.

Of these five philosophies win-win, win-lose, lose-win, lose-lose, and win-which one you think most effective, the answer is -'it depends'. And it depends on reality. The challenge lies in to read the reality accurately and not to translate win-lose or other scripting into every situation.

SET PERSONAL STANDARDS ~ Code of Conduct

There are state-of-the-standard rules and dictum's. Then there are state-of-the-individual norms that we set according to our own ethos and envision. These norms are the state-of-the-individual reflection of our own being and remains our guiding force all through. Just jot down your own set of rules that you will try to abide by.

• I will not knowingly hurt or hinder another human being in the pursuit of my career.
• I will not knowingly break any law in the furtherance of my career.
• I will have a moral code that I will follow no matter what.
• I will endeavor to provide a positive contribution to society by what I do for a living.
• I will not do anything that I could be ashamed to talk to my children about.
• I will put my family first at all times.
• I will play by the rules at all times.

The above code of conducts are some examples we need to follow for a harmonious and respectful life. Not necessarily, all these above rules will suit our own course of actions. We may need or have a better set for our personal conduct, it should bracket superior traits that comprise positive and proactive elements we need to network and nurture. We must endeavor to be the very, very best we can at all times.