I don't get holidays, sick pay or days off. I work through the DAY & NIGHT. I am on call 24/7 for the rest of my life. And that's just with my first job...
BEING A Mommy!!!
I may not be anything to you but I am everything to someone!
Re-post if you are a PROUD Mommy!!! ♥ and if you don't think it's a job try it for a week
"The parents have to learn that the child should not be insulted, humiliated, condemned. If you want to help him, love him more. Appreciate what is good in him rather than emphasizing what is bad. Talk about his goodness. Let the whole neighborhood know how nice and beautiful a boy he is. You may be able to shift his energy from the bad side to the good side, from the dark side to the lighted side, because you will make him aware that this is the way to get respect, this is the way to be honored. And you will prevent him from doing anything that makes him fall down in people's eyes. Every child is simple, just a clean slate. Then the parents start writing on his slate ~ what he has to become. Then the teachers, the priests, the leaders -- they all go on emphasizing that you have to become somebody; otherwise, you have wasted your life. Just the opposite is the case. You are a being. You need not become anybody else. That is the meaning of simplicity: remaining at ease with one's being, and not going on any track of becoming -- which is unending. " ~ Alokparna S Thakur
Is there an imaginary cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions?
Is there some wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, 'It's Their life,' and feel nothing?
When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my daughter's head and I asked, 'When do you stop worrying?' The nurse said, 'When they get out of the accident stage..' My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.
When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making license plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher said, 'Don't worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them.' My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.
When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, 'They're trying to find themselves. 'Don't worry! In a few years, they'll be adults. 'They'll be off on their own they'll be out of your hair' My Parents just smiled faintly And said nothing.
By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle.. Even though they were on their own I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments.. and there was nothing I could do about it. My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.
My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my parent's warm smiles and their occasional, 'You look pale. Are you all right' ? 'Call me the minute you get home'. Are you depressed about something?'
My friends said that when I became a grandparent that I would get to enjoy the happy little voices yelling Grandma! Papa! But now I find that I worry just as much about the little kids as the big ones. How can anyone cope with all this Worry?
Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of earthly creation?
Recently, one of my own children became quite irritable, saying to me, 'Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried.' I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed.
Jains have contributed immensely in the education of India right from day one through their monasteries distributed across the country.
The family is the first school and nucelus for education in India.
In the primitive India, father and mother were the basic teachers of their children.
Jains also accepted the family concept which prevailed earlier the rise of the Jain religion and Jain philosophy.
Jains also focussed and developed the family based system of education not only of Jain religious values but other aspects of life social, cultural, business and others.
Grammar and correct speech and languageand communication was taught at home.
Their monastries continued to impart instructions and lectures and education on religious and secular values.
In the monasteries, the curricula included instructions in religion, literature, arts and physical cultures.
The Jain monastries admitted the students of all castes.
Teachers were of two kinds : teaching religous values and other teachers teaching secular values.
The teachers/monkds in the Jain monasteries were required to study not less than three hours to upgrade and educate and evolve themselves.
Intermonasteries debates and sharing thoughts were encouraged.
In the Jain monastries library, the books, scripts relating religion, philosophy, astronomy, logic and arthmetic could be found.
Youths of mercantile communities were admitted and trained.
Rulers of ancient India competed with each other in honouring Tirthankars for their various kinds of contribution including that of the education.
A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud
He was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book.
Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. Heneeded to come home immediately and take-care things.When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness andregret filled his heart.He began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Bible.
It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words...PAID IN FULL.
How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?
When the world fails, and you know it will fail,
what way of life shall you live then?
When the governments collapse, and you know they will,
What power shall you rely on then?
When the dream of man reveals it's nightmare, and you already see that,
what dream shall you create then?
When the powers of earth lose control, and you know they are grasping,
what force shall you trust in then?
When someone comes forth to bring a new order, and you know it isn't your belief,
what faith shall you follow then?
When every man for himself will no longer put food in your children's belly,
and you see that time approaching,
What shall you do to nourish your Family then?
Inside us all, are there clues to our joint fundamentals.
Many of us are seekers of Good will.
Many of us are givers of Good will.
Only the principles that live on forever shall be reliable forever.
Only that which was before the beginning, and that which shall be after the end,
can a solid house be built upon.
Before Technology,
Before Science,
Before Society,
Before Governments,
Before Countries,
Before Armies,
Before Religions,
Before Tribes,
Before Culture,
Before Art.
Before Knowledge.
Before them all, and after them all will be the everlasting truth of Love.
Our culture todays treats Love as though it is a mushy, squishy, vain, lifeless, weak, foo-foo, feminine, girly-man idea only. Even now my own friends are looking upon my writing as though I have somehow gotten softer over the years. With my own ears have I heard them speak how they cannot even look upon my words because they are too wimpy for them.
Yet all the while, the very originator of love itself, is also the very originator of masculinity itself. Yet all the while the most powerful force in all the universe, responsible for the universe itself, proves continually that Love itself is the ONLY foundational principle of the universe that has been and always shall be.
Only the strong survives, all else, that is truly weak and truly despot fails.
Societies Fail,
Ideas Fail,
Governments Fail,
Man's Laws Fail,
Armies Fail,
Countries Fail,
Will fails,
The strong become weak and die,
The powerful become powerless and crumble.
Even a flower... can destroy the strongest man with an allergy.
Yet who has been destroyed by Love?
If there is a devil, then no doubt that force of vanity surly would put fear of love into the minds of men. No doubt that force of illogic would force upon another the idea of love as the weakness, rather then death as the weakness. No doubt Men and women would live within a time when love would be considered futile, unobtainable, indescribable, confusing, reckless, hurtful, and ultimately in vain. No doubt a pervasive and cunning idea would want men to become speakers of love, praising love, who actually know nothing about love at all! It works out well for death... that the only protagonists of love appear to be weak, unintelligent simple minded dolts living in a fairy-tale of unrealistic ideals. Yet love still is the only surviving force encompasing the universe as a whole. As every religion has thankfully not forgotten... it is truly the ONLY law there is.
Love itself removes the need for any other law.
No doubt if there is an untruth, devil, death, illogic, un-knowledge, force of ill-will in the universe... then that force would desire that we no longer remember what love actually is.
We try as we will to remember.
We write songs, poems, notes, letters, books, and create groups to recall actual love.
We seek, explore, discover, long for, ask for, desire, wish and hope for love.
We give, create, build, mold, shape, and try to grow love in another.
We do all we can continually for the sake of love.
Yet still do we seem to believe in love as vanity.
I believe our fundamental problem with love is that we see it from only one side at a time.
Either we are trying to give love, or we are trying to get love.
They say that Love can change the world. And this is TRUE... but only if that love is received.
They say that all you need is Love, and this is TRUE... but you will not have it if it is not given.
How many of us have tried to GIVE love to a mate, a brother, a friend... who refused it?
How many of us have tried to GET love from another who would not give it?
It has been said that it is better to give, then to receive. This idea has long been mistaken for value of one over the other. It is not a lesson that receiving is wrong or somehow less valuable. It is a lesson which reminds us that through Giving, we also do receive, if our giving was done so purely for the intent to give... and not for the intent to purchase love or kindness from another. If I expect a certain response from you, then I am in effect doing a business transaction, rather then an act of love. If I desire that you should respond to my gift in a certain manner... then I am treating you as a whore, and wish to buy your affection.
IF however, i see in my own life how much I love it when someone scratches my back... and I go to scratch theirs because they itch... then I have given to another the very thing that I myself LOVE! In passing that on... I also give it to myself. BUT, if I have an expectation that YOU must respond a certain way... then I cut myself off from receiving my own love, in favor of receiving yours. Then my gift comes with a price that YOU must pay. Then my gift comes with an obligation on YOUR part... that YOU must conform to.
That isn't love.
Love must be received. It can however be received by the giver, to the giver.
If it is also received by the one who you have given it too... then the rewards are quadrupled.
Because in giving, you receive when done so with love.
And when received by another, they too understand and know your reception of self also.
You receive twice, and they receive twice... PLUS the gift given.
But if you demand they receive so that you can feel love, then you may or may not receive your own love back... AND you and them will only feel the effect of a good business deal.
You won't feel the effect of love.
I would venture to say, that any man who has lived a life where they give with any expectation of how it is received... has not ever known the effect of love. I would be bold enough to say they have only known the effect of purchasing a toy. Toys themselves will also fail, and are discarded. But actual LOVE never does.
One very large problem I have witnessed in my brothers, is that they lack the desire to receive love. Of course they would, when the love they have known has come with a Price! Would wants to be a prostitute? Who wants to be the family wallet? Who wants to have a HONEY-DO list? Who wants to be the arms and legs and labor worker of a family for payment of possible affection? I know of no one who desires this. I know of many who live this way. Men and women who give with expectation... BOTH create and support the culture of purchasing effecting at a price. Unfortunately for us all... that business deal is ALWAYS in negotiation and none of it has any security to it.
To give real Love is also to receive real love from within.
To receive real love is also to Give real love to ones self and to the giver.
Love given to one who refuses, does nothing for the receiver.
Love not given to one who is seeking, does nothing for the seeker.
We cannot force love upon another. The very principle of love forbids that possibility. Love must be received freely, and given freely... because Love is the foundation of Freedom.
The very best we can hope for, is to create love, and have that love received not only by us alone, but also by all. I am so blessed, to have a wife who receives love and gives love freely without desire for record keeping or score taking. It seems my life's work in myself is to wipe-out all those old ideas that Love is outside of me and something I must be worthy of.
We cannot use our will to master love, for love is the master of our Will, and not the other way around. Love is OUR teacher, and we are not the teachers of Love. Love is OUR ruler and commander, and we are not the rulers and commanders of love. Love is the gift of the Universe itself.
The surprisingly simple giant step we can all take toward emotional maturity
In "The Terrible Two's: Patterned for Life," my wife N'omi points out that our lifelong behavior patterns are determined early in childhood. During the "terrible two's," a child will discover the word "no." So the parents must get to "no" before the child does.
The horrible truth is: If parents don't know how to say "no" to the child--and in a way that doesn't frustrate him, but instead offers creative alternatives and rewards, as well as a definite requirement of obedience--a war of wills is on the horizon.
A child raised without this training of his or her will is headed for a life of anger, frustration, and loneliness. Why? Because if the parents don't lovingly present this lesson to the child, life will harshly present it to them as they become adults.
Oddly, this is much the same scenario that develops when a child is repressed and punished arbitrarily and in anger, rather than according to well-understood guidelines.
But forcing a child to parent herself or himself is simply another form of child abuse, and results in an angry, frustrated, and lonely child.
I know because I was that child, and I see children suffering like I did everywhere I go.
Current child-raising trends exalt feelings, and encourage their untrammeled expression regardless of who they hurt. Children raised this way learn that the feelings of others are unimportant, and that their own feelings are what rule the world.
They are not taught to work on their character, or to think of others, or even of their own long-term desires or goals. So they become permanently subject to babyish impulses, and seldom develop the strength of character to rise above them.
Neither a Hero nor a Coach can afford such a life. Living by our feelings is, at best, destructive to self and others. Our employer, our clients, our society all rely on us to make considered decisions, informed by facts, experience, and intuition. Feelings have a place in our lives--but that place can't be the driver's seat!
How can you help your Hero or your Coach when you see them caught up in their feelings? And how can you help colleagues, subordinates, and superiors when you see them caught up in their feelings?
First of all, don't react; that is, don't allow your behavior to be determined by, and thus feed into, their feelings. Take a deep breath, and consider the situation. Can you calm or comfort the person? Before you can address the issues at hand, you have to bring them back to responsible behavior.
Another way to do this is to speak to them in their love language, if you know what it is. If you don't, try all five! (But unless you are sure their love language is touch, don't try to touch them; it won't calm them, and could have the opposite effect.)
The main duty of parents is to teach children to live above their feelings - not to suppress them, but not to be ruled by them. And parents can only do this if they have learned this listen. If you haven't - that's your homework assignment! :-)
Love and blessings, Joel
an email from Joel Orr. If you have an opinion on it just don't forget to add your comments...
Synergy means the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It catalyzes, unifies and unleashes the greatest powers within people. All the habits or principles we are discussing prepare us to create the miracle of synergy.
Synergy stems from the creative process we pursue and it is also the most terrifying part because we don't know exactly what's going to lead. We don't know what new challenges we will find. It takes an enormous amount of internal security to begin with the spirit of adventure, the spirit of adventure, the spirit of discovery, the spirit of creativity.
The challenge to follow this principle is to apply the principles of creative cooperation, which we often learn from nature, in our social interactions. Our family life is an excellent platform to observe and practice this mode of endeavor. The very way a man & woman bring a child into the world is synergistic.
As in life synergy is of much importance in the work-dom of business. When we incorporate this approach is our business the outcome is sheer excellence. It helps us to release an incredible creative enthusiasm.
And once we have experienced real synergy, we are never quite the same again; we know the possibility of having other such mind-expanding adventure in the future. We simply open our mind to new happenings.
There are state-of-the-standard rules and dictum's. Then there are state-of-the-individual norms that we set according to our own ethos and envision. These norms are the state-of-the-individual reflection of our own being and remains our guiding force all through. Just jot down your own set of rules that you will try to abide by.
I will not knowingly hurt or hinder another human being in the pursuit of my career.
I will not knowingly break any law in the furtherance of my career.
I will have a moral code that I will follow no matter what.
I will endeavor to provide a positive contribution to society by what I do for a living.
I will not do anything that I could be ashamed to talk to my children about.
The above code of conducts are some examples we need to follow for a harmonious and respectful life. Not necessarily, all these above rules will suit our own course of actions. We may need or have a better set for our personal conduct, it should bracket superior traits that comprise positive and proactive elements we need to network and nurture. We must endeavor to be the very, very best we can at all times.
Image via WikipediaAll we have ever dreamed to know Has not been seized
In the Morning I awaken to a new potential I am given this day where possibilities are waiting to be born A thousand lies seek to undertake at dawns first light to overthrow the throne of truth deep within me We have set up our camp together We have known what to expect Those who seek war, seek war in secret Attack while we rest
This is the waking mind Ready to proclaim anything quiet Ready to steal happiness Ready to throw arrows of destruction before the sun even rises
I look to your face for their I see our future Along your closed eyelids I see memories of the family you love so deeply You have kept watch over me all night Even asleep I recall your guarding footsteps
A King protects his Kingdom And I shall love you among those who are walking Dead to their dreams Dead to their purpose Dead to their visions
Yes ..We are strangers here in this land we once called home My love weeps for you just as yours does for me Our deep personal experience has brought us to new revelations
No one saw our tears and that could sadden any heart But Our embrace for this very cause was for us alone To bring understanding in truth and a promise to those we love saying
Even though…
We may appear lost in a society of conditions that which is divine cannot be called human The message of truth we have discovered and have shared for our Father IS And forever more shall BE a direction For we carry our Fathers heart our Fathers passion and in this we become our Fathers light
we have found possibilities We have uncovered ancient wisdoms of the beginning we have passed from death to life we have accepted our faith from our experience
And when they rise up to separate us We remember our souls are eternal because our faith does not come from here Our faith is a living faith that flows from our Father
Remember the father of earth who believes his entire life he has failed Rise up and be made new ….with fresh faith to offer his newborn son the very best of his spirit The very nature of this is just as the sun rises in the morning And he allows no failure to crumble his spirits He has found victory
Remember the trees each beautiful and unique even in the fall They are not tied to the moments of the past or captured by the summer winds Freely they move not by authority but by freedom and liberty
Our embrace through the night has kept us safely through until morning Because it did not come from what we forced ourselves to do
We have found our common home We have uncovered our common desires We are the Living Faith of our Home
All we have ever dreamed to know Has not been seized
For it is the Will of our Father And can be renewed on earth anywhere. In every morning.
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